Lust, Anger, Love [electronic resource] : Understanding Sexual Addiction and the Road to Healthy Intimacy

Geoffrey Franklin Miller

At once a pioneering study of evolution and an accessible and lively read, The Mating Mind offers the most convincing—and radical—explanation to date for how and why the human mind evolved. Traditionally, evolutionary theory has explained intelligence as merely a by-product of surplus brain size. But psychologist Geoffrey Miller argues that it actively evolved, like the peacock's tail, for courtship and mating, and thereby shaped human nature.Certain traits are attractive because they indicate the overall fitness of a potential mate. Miller maintains that both human sexes have evolved many significant ways of displaying fitness via expressions of creative intelligence such as storytelling, poetry, art, music, sports, dance, humor, kindness, and leadership. In support of this provocative thesis, he has gathered evidence from psychology, economics, history, pop culture, and Darwin's theory of sexual selection to present an utterly original synthesis of research. Leer más…

Donald G. Dutton

this Influential Book Provides An Innovative Framework For Understanding And Treating Intimate Partner Violence. Integrating A Variety Of Theoretical And Empirical Perspectives, Donald G. Dutton Demonstrates That Male Abusiveness Is More Than Just A Learned Pattern Of Behavior--it Is The Outgrowth Of A Particular Personality Configuration. He Illuminates The Development Of The Abusive Personality From Early Childhood To Adulthood And Presents An Evidence-based Treatment Approach Designed To Meet This Population's Unique Needs. The Second Edition Features Two New Chapters On The Neurobiological Roots Of Abusive Behavior And The Development Of Abusiveness In Females. doody Review Services reviewer: susan Richardson, Ma, Psyd(private Practice) description: this Book Describes The Recent Research On Understanding And Treating Perpetrators Of Violence In Intimate Relationships. The First Edition Was Published Late In 2002. purpose: it Seeks To Explore The Abusive Personality From Psychological And Neurobiological Developmental Pathways, Reviewing Both Theory And Research Data. audience: the Book Is Intended For Clinical Professionals Working With This Type Of Perpetrator Or Their Families. It Also Would Be Appropriate For Graduate Studies In Personality And Interpersonal Relationships. The Author Has Done A Significant Amount Of Research With This Population And He Reviews Research By Others From The Earliest Discussions On The Subject. features: the Fundamental Areas Of... Leer más…

Adele B. Lynn, Eileen Klockars (Cover)

A collection of activities perfect for skill-building on self-awareness and control, empathy, social expertness, personal influence, mastery of vision and more. Emotional Intelligence explains why, despite equal intellectual capacity, training, or experience, some people excel while others of the same caliber lag behind. Certain competencies are found repeatedly in high performers at all levels, from customer service representatives to CEOs. As trainers we must find ways to build these talents labeled EQ (emotional intelligence quotient). The 50 reproducible activities in this resource book focus on developing the following set of talents: self-awareness and control, empathy, social expertness, personal influence, and mastery of vision. Selected Contents Emotional Intelligence — What Is It? A Coach’s / Trainer’s Guide to Helping Leaders Improve EQ How to Use This Guide Guide to the 50 EQ Activities Suggested Training Formats Action / Reaction Visions Apply to People Too Advice from the Pros Steps for Growth More Reflections Leer más…

Randy Thornhill And Steven W. Gangestad

Research conducted in the last fifteen years has placed in question many of the traditional conclusions scholars have formed about human female sexuality. Though conventional wisdom asserts that women's estrus has been evolutionarily lost, Randy Thornhill and Steven W. Gangestad assert that it is present, though concealed. Women, they propose, therefore exhibit two sexualities each ovulatory cycle-estrus and sexuality outside of the estrous phase, extended sexuality-that possess distinct functions. Synthesizing research in behavioral evolution and comparative biology, the authors provide a new theoretical framework for understanding the evolution of human female sexuality, one that is rooted in female sexuality and phylogeny across all vertebrate animals. Leer más…

Angela Browne-Miller Ph.d.

Considering the many ways people seek emotional pleasure, relaxation or escape in self-harmful ways - from excessive alcohol use and drug abuse to smoking, overeating, compulsive gambling, out-of-control spending and even lesser behaviors like habitual nail-biting - there are few of us who do not have, or know someone close who has, an addiction or habit they wish they could break. The problem common to all, says author Browne-Miller, is that psychological reactions to events have motivated behaviors which, in turn, have created biochemical reactions in the brain that actually wires it for repeating the habit or addiction. In this groundbreaking book, Browne-Miller explains simply and clearly how we can control our thoughts to rewire the brain and beat the pattern that spurs repeating harmful habits, and addictions. Leer más…

Glenn Geher, Geoffrey Miller (Editors)

"Human intelligence is sexually attractive, and strongly predicts the success of sexual relationships, but the behavioral sciences have usually ignored the interface between intelligence and mating. This is the first serious scholarly effort to explore that interface, by examining both universal and individual differences in human mating intelligence. Contributors include some of the most prominent evolutionary psychologists and promising new researchers in human intelligence, social psychology, intimate relationships, and sexuality. David Buss' foreword and the opening chapter explore what 'mating intelligence' means, and why it is central to human cognition and sexuality. The book's six sections then examine (1) our mating mechanisms -- universal emotional and cognitive adaptations for mating intelligently -- that guide mate search, mate choice, and courtship; (2) how mating intelligence strategically guides our choice of mating tactics and partners given different relationship goals, personality traits, forms of deception, and the existence of children; (3) the genetic and psychiatric causes of individual differences in mating intelligence; (4) how we use mental fitness indicators -- forms of human intelligence such as creativity, humor, and emotional intelligence -- to attract and retain sexual partners; (5) the ecological and social contexts of mating intelligence; (6) integrative models of mating intelligence that can guide future research. Mating Intelligence is... Leer más…

Jared M. Diamond

Diamond Jared. Why Is Sex Fun - The Evolution of Human Sexuality 1998 [pdf 118sc 606kb] Why are humans one of the few species to have sex in private? Why are human females the only mammals to go through menopause? Why is the human penis so unnecessarily large? There is no more knowledgeable authority than the award-winning author of THE THIRD CHIMPANZEE to answer these intriguing questions. Here is a delightfully entertaining and enlightening look at the unique sex lives of humans. Leer más…

By Allan Pease, Barbara Pease

Allan and Barbara Pease, the international bestselling authors of Why Men Don't Listen & Women Can't Read Maps, deliver their most exciting book yet. Will men and women ever see eye-to-eye about love and sex' How will relationships ever be rewarding if men only want to rush into bed and women want to rush to the altar' In this practical, witty and down-to-earth guide, couples experts Allan and Barbara Pease reveal the truth about how men and women can really get along. By translating science and cutting edge research into a powerful yet highly entertaining read, you'll learn how to find true happiness and compatibility with the opposite sex. REVEALED IN THIS BOOK: * The seven types of love * The top five things women want from men * What to do when the chemistry is wrong * What turns men and women on ' and off! * The most common "New Relationship" mistakes and how to avoid them * How to decode "manspeak" If you want to get the most satisfaction from your relationship, or are single and looking for the right person, then you must read this book for the answer to Why Men Want Sex and Women Need Love. From the Trade Paperback edition Leer más…

Leonard Shlain

Leonard Shlain From the best selling author of __Art and Physics__ and __The Alphabet Versus the Goddess__ comes a provocative new book that will change our views of human sexuality and evolution. According to Leonard Shlain there is no clear and compelling explanation for the sudden emergence of glib, big-brained __Homo sapiens__ 150,000 years ago. In his latest book, he proposes an original thesis that variations in female sexuality changed the course of human evolution. Due to the narrowness of her bipedal pelvis and the increasing size of her infant's head, the human female began to experience high childbirth death rates. Natural selection adapted her to this environmental stress by drastically reconfiguring her hormonal cycles. Her estrus with its external signal that she was ovulating disappeared as her menses became the most florid of any mammal and it mysteriously entrained with the periodicity of the moon. These interlocking adaptations led the first women to grasp the concept of a month and make the connection between sex and pregnancy. Upon learning the immense secret of time, early females became empowered to refuse sex when they were ovulating. The first males faced women who had a mind of their own. Men used the knowledge of the future acquired from women to become the planet's most fearsome predator. But soon, a man discovered that he was mortal and, then, when he belatedly understood the function of sex, he grasped that he could have an heir. These... Leer más…

John Marshall Townsend, John Sims Townsend

following The Work Of E. O. Wilson, Desmond Morris, And David Buss, what Women Want—what Men Want Offers Compelling New Evidence About The Real Reasons Behind Men's And Women's Differing Sexual Psychologies And Sheds New Light On What Men And Women Look For In A Mate, The Predicament Of Marriage In The Modern World, The Relation Between Sex And Emotion, And Many Other Hotly Debated Questions. Drawing Upon 2000 Questionnaires And 200 Intimate Interviews That Show How Our Sexual Psychologies Affect Everyday Decisions, John Townsend Argues Against The Prevailing Ideologically Correct Belief That Differences In Sexual Behavior Are Culturally Constructed. Townsend Shows There Are Deep-seated Desires Inherited From Our Evolutionary Past That Guide Our Actions. In A Fascinating Series Of Experiments, Men And Women Were Asked To Indicate Preferences For Potential Mates Based On Their Attractiveness And Apparent Economic Status. Women Overwhelmingly Preferred Expensively Dressed Men To More Attractive But Apparently Less Successful Men, And Men Were Clearly Inclined To Choose More Attractive Women Regardless Of Their Professional Status. Townsend's Studies Also Indicate That Men Are Predisposed To Value Casual Sex, Whereas Women Cannot Easily Separate Sexual Relations From The Need For Emotional Attachment And Economic Security. Indeed, Wherever Men Possess Sexual Alternatives To Marriage, And Women Possess Economic Alternatives, Divorce Rates Will Be High. In The Concluding... Leer más…

Thich Nhat Hanh

The Nobel Peace Prize nominee and internationally bestselling author shares the tools and power for overcoming anger. "Thich Nhat Hanh is a holy man, for he is humble and devout. He is a scholar of immense intellectual capacity. His ideas for peace, if applied, would build a monument to ecumenism, to world brotherhood, to humanity." -Martin Luther King, Jr., in nominating Thich Nhat Hanh for the Nobel Peace Prize It was under the bodhi tree in India twenty-five centuries ago that Buddha achieved the insight that three states of mind were the source of all our unhappiness: ignorance, obsessive desire, and anger. All are equally difficult, but in one instant of anger, lives can be ruined, and our spiritual development can be destroyed. Twenty-five hundred years after the Buddha's enlightenment, medical science tells us that the Buddha was right: anger can also ruin our health. It is one of the most powerful emotions and one of the most difficult to change. Thich Nhat Hanh offers a fresh perspective on taking care of our anger as we would take care of a crying baby-picking it up, talking quietly to it, probing for what is making the baby cry. Laced with stories and techniques, Anger offers a wise and loving look at transforming anger into peace and for bringing harmony and healing to all the areas and relationships in our lives that have been affected by anger. Leer más…

Ph.d. Kevin B. Skinner

This book carefully walks someone struggling with porngraphy through the steps to recovery. Dr. Skinner discusses how pornography becomes a problem in the mind and how it becomes addictive. Then he teaches the reader how to rewrite the patterns in the mind. It closes with the key steps of recovery. Included in the book is a brief assessment tool "Assessing Pornography Addiction." Leer más…

No-Porn.com

“Ten Keys” has helped thousands of men and women understand how their addiction works, how it controls them, and how they can reclaim their lives.It has helped the newcomer just starting to admit that porn is a problem, and the guy who has struggled for years to stop but is convinced that nothing will ever work.It has also helped wives and partners who are trying to better understand their loved one’s hurtful behavior.I have been the webmaster of No-porn.com since 1997. A few years ago, I was urged to write about my own recovery from pornography. The result was the ebook “Ten Keys to Breaking Pornography Addiction.”I am extremely proud of the response to "Ten Keys to Breaking Pornography Addiction."I have received hundreds of emails praising the book:"I will read it again and again.""You have given me some great new ideas.""It really helps me keep focused""I cannot thank you enough.""Very helpful""It gave me hope.""I... have actually lost count of how long I have been free.""I now have hope and direction."The No-porn.com Support Board has many testimonials from Ten Keys' readers:"I am just coming up on three years of sobriety.This was the first book I read that dealt specifically with porn addiction and recovery. In the past three years I have gone through most of the available books and articles on porn addiction and have yet to find anything that personally touched me as profoundly as The Ten Keys...The Ten Keys gets my vote as the best recovery resource available - a... Leer más…

Patrick J. Carnes

We recommend Partrick Carne's Out of the Shadows..to every sex addict and codependent we treat.. This (bookprovides) a tremendously powerful experience, helping bothsex addicts and codependents realize that they are not aloneand not destined to eternally be at the mercy of the disease. Dr. Ralph Earle and Dr. Gregory Crow, Lonely All the Time "Out of the Shadows has become a guidebook for sufferers andcounselors alike."Roda Salter, Keene Sentinel Sex is at the core of our identities. And when it becomes a compulsion, it can unravel our lives. Out of the Shadows is the premier work on this disorder, written by a pioneer in its treatment. Revised and updated to include the latest research--and to address the exploding phenomenon of cybersex addiction--this third edition identifies the danger signs, explains the dynamics, and describes the consequences of sexual addiction and dependency. With practical wisdom and spiritual clarity, it points the way out of the shadows of sexual compulsion and back into the light and fullness of life. Leer más…

Alfred C Kinsey, Institute For Sex Research, Wardell B Pomeroy, Paul H Gebhard

"Sexual Behavior in the Human Female" was originally published in 1953, five years after the male volume. The material presented in this book was derived from personal interviews with nearly 6,000 women; from studies in sexual anatomy, physiology, psychology, and endocrinology. The book presents data on the incidence and frequency with which women participate in various types of sexual activity. The authors show how such factors as age, decade of birth, and religious adherence are reflected in patterns of sexual behavior. Some measure of the social significance of the various types of sexual behavior is provided. The authors make comparisons of female and male sexual activities, and investigate the factors which account for the similarities and differences between female and male patterns of behavior. Leer más…

O'connor, Richard (Psychotherapist)

We humans tend to get in our own way time and time again—whether it comes to not speaking up for ourselves, going back to bad romantic partners, dieting for the umpteenth try, or acting on any of a range of bad habits we just can’t seem to shake. In __Rewire__, renowned psychotherapist Richard O’Connor, PhD, reveals exactly why our bad habits die so hard. We have two brains—one a thoughtful, conscious, deliberative self, and the other an automatic self that makes most of our decisions without our attention. Using new research and knowledge about how the brain works, the book clears a path to lasting, effective change for behaviors that include:* Procrastination * Overeating * Chronic disorganization * Staying in bad situations * Excessive worrying * Risk taking * Passive aggression * Self-medication Bringing together many different fields in psychology and brain science, Dr. O’Connor gives you a road map to overcoming whatever self-destructive habits are plaguing you, with exercises throughout the book. We can rewire our brains to develop healthier circuitry, training the automatic self to make wiser decisions without having to think about it; ignore distractions; withstand temptations; see ourselves and the world more clearly; and interrupt our reflexive responses before they get us in trouble. Meanwhile, our conscious minds will be freed to view ourselves with compassion at the same time as we practice self-discipline. By learning valuable skills and habits—including... Leer más…

George Collins Ma, Andrew Adleman Ma

Anyone who has struggled with sex addiction knows that living with constant sexual compulsions can be extremely difficult. But summoning the courage to find help for this condition can be even more of a challenge. If addictions to pornography, strip clubs, massage parlors, prostitutes, phone sex, or chat rooms have made you feel trapped, this book can help you find a way to break free. Written by a former sex addict who specializes in counseling people who suffer from sexually compulsive behavior, __Breaking the Cycle__ presents a step-by-step plan to enjoying a life of productivity and purpose. You can free yourself from the powerful, compulsive urges that may have damaged your career, finances, or relationships with friends and family. The exercises in this book will show you how to regain control of your life and build meaningful intimate connections with others. Leer más…

Brenda Schaeffer; Recorded Books, Inc

Many of us confuse longing and obsession with true love. Through two previous editions, __Is It Love or Is It Addiction?__ has helped countless people find their way from the trials and confusion of addictive love to the fulfillment of whole and healthy relationships. As the author reveals, we can begin to work through relationship difficulties with compassion and lasting effect by increasing our awareness of the ways that we express love.In this expanded third edition, Brenda Schaeffer draws on years of feedback and new developments to foster an understanding of love addiction: what it is and what it is not, how to identify it, and, even more important, how to break free of it. Stories of real people struggling to develop sound relationships illustrate the characteristics of healthy love and help readers to free themselves to find real intimacy. Included is the most up-to-date information about the biological basis of addictive behaviors and the impact of technology on intimate relationships. The author also explores the influence of past abuse and trauma on the predisposition to love addiction. Leer más…

Barrie Davenport

Question Your Way to Lasting Love and Intimacy Wouldn’t it be great to have a relationship coach on call to help you and your love partner have the most joyful, loving relationship possible? What if you had someone who knew exactly what to ask to draw out your deepest desires and help you calmly navigate areas of pain or conflict? Having a coach is wonderful, but if you know the right questions to ask one another, you can start right now building the relationship you both desire. The Power of Questioning Mutual questioning is a powerful technique to draw out deeper emotions and desires and address potential areas of conflict before they disrupt your closeness. The right questions inspire understanding, compassion and action for positive change. Questions like: • What does unconditional love mean to you? • Do I do anything to make you feel disrespected? • How can I listen to you better so you feel completely heard? • What should I never say to you, even in anger? • How can I make you feel more desirable and sexy? Take Control: How Relationship Questions Can Change Your Life When you and your partner embark on a mutual questioning journey, you are committing to an intimate, satisfying, joyful life together. Rather than waiting for conflict and resentment to inflict a surprise attack, you’re proactively addressing the needs and wounds both of you carry and reinforcing your commitment to the relationship above all else. This journey will be enlightening, fun,... Leer más…