The Unavailable Father : Seven Ways Women Can Understand, Heal, and Cope with a Broken Father-Daughter Relationship

Paula J Caplan

In 1990, Paula Caplan, a nationally recognized expert on the psychology of women, wrote the groundbreaking Don't Blame Mother . Now, almost ten years later, she finds that we are still blaming mothers. Fully revised updated with a new introduction, this second edition prposes new ways of mending the mother-daughter relationship. The New Don't Blame Mother: Mending the Mother-Daughter Relationship shows us that dangerous myths about mothers pervade our culture and have created or aggravated many of the problems between mothers and daughters. Myths of the "Perfect Mother" give rise to impossible expectations and set mothers up for failure - good mothers don't get angry, good mothers are endlessly giving - and myths of the "Bad Mother" exaggerate mothers' failings and create a monster figure in her image-mothers are too needy, mothers can't let go. Caplan shows that if women can identify these myths then they can take concrete steps to build a strong and loving relationship with their mothers. The New Don't Blame Mother Shows how the anger and agony of the mother-daughter relationship can be replaced with a new bond based on understanding and respect. The New Don't Blame Mother is a must read for all mothers and daughters. Caplan, drawing on over twenty-five years of research, clinical practice, and the experience of workshop participants, will show you how to stop blaming mother and, instead, start loving her. Leer más…

Peg Streep; Introduction By Rachel Harris

An exploration of the darker side of maternal behavior drawn from scientific research, psychology, and the real-life experiences of adult daughters, Mean Mothers sheds light on one of the last cultural taboos: what happens when a woman doesn't or can't love her daughter. Mean Mothers reveals the multigenerational thread that often runs through these stories—many unloving mothers are the daughters of unloving or hypercritical women—and explores what happens to a daughter's sense of self and to her relationships when her mother is emotionally absent or even cruel. But Mean Mothers is also a narrative of hope, recounting how daughters can get past the legacy of hurt to become whole within and to become loving mothers to the next generation of daughters. The personal stories of unloved daughters and sons and those of the author herself, are both unflinching and moving, and bring this most difficult of subjects to life. Mean Mothers isn't just a book for daughters who've had difficult or impossible relationships with their mothers. By exposing the myths of motherhood that prevent us from talking about the women for whom mothering a daughter is fraught with ambivalence, tension, or even jealousy, Mean Mothers also casts a different light on the extraordinary influence mothers have over their female children as well as the psychological complexity and emotional depth of the mother-daughter relationship. Leer más…

Charles L Whitfield; Netlibrary, Inc

Annotation. This is a gentle and effective workbook and guide to Healing the Child Within. It can be used with or without having already read Healing the Child Within. Using numerous experiential exercises that the reader can do at their own pace, physician and author Charles Whitfield takes us on a healing journey into our inner and outer life. Once a reader starts this book, the healing process begins -- even if they rarely do any of its exercises. One of the highlights of this book is the clear description of age regression, one of the most crucial concepts in healing and recovery Leer más…

John C. Friel, Linda D. Friel

It is estimated that as many as 34 million people grew up in alcoholic homes. But what about the rest of us? What about families that had no alcoholism, but did have perfectionism, workaholism, compulsive overeating, intimacy problems, depression, problems in expressing feelings, plus all the other personality traits that can produce a family system much like an alcoholic one? Countless millions of us struggle with these kinds of dysfunctions every day, and until very recently we struggled alone. Pulling together both theory and clinical practice, John and Linda Friel provide a readable explanation of what happened to us and how we can rectify it. It is estimated that as many as 34 million people grew up in alcoholic homes but what about the rest of us? The authors provide a readable explanation of what happens to those of us who have had no alcoholism, but did have perfectionism, workaholism, compulsive overeating, intimacy problems, etc. Leer más…

By Sarah Simms Rosenthal

Strategies for overcoming a damaged father/daughter relationship Problems between fathers and daughters can damage a young girl's identity, convince her she's unloveable or without worth, and send her into unhealthy adult relationships. This groundbreaking book includes in-depth stories and case histories of a broad spectrum of women over 25 who have recovered and flourished in their professional and personal lives despite the lack of a father's recognition and affection. While the legacy of pain that these fathers leave is deep, there is much that can be done to alleviate and even conquer it. Using these women's stories as well as her insights from her private practice, the author outlines basic strategies to overcome the void left by an abusive, absent, alcoholic, mentally ill, irresponsible, selfish, or unloving father. Written by Sarah Simms Rosenthal who has a thriving practice in New York City Reveals how to understand the truth about your childhood Includes strategies for discovering and analyzing past adult relationship mistakes—both personal and professional Offers successful techniques for establishing new patterns of behavior The women whose stories are told in The Unavailable Father have learned to recognize and change the patterns instigated by their dysfunctional fathers and have moved forward, fulfilled. Leer más…

John Bradshaw

Are you outwardly successful but inwardly do you feel like a big kid? Do you aspire to be a loving parent but all too often “lose it” in hurtful ways? Do you crave intimacy but sometimes wonder if it’s worth the struggle? Or are you plagued by constant vague feelings of anxiety or depression? If any of this sounds familiar, you may be experiencing the hidden but damaging effects of a painful childhood—carrying within you a “wounded inner child” that is crying out for attention and healing. In this powerful book, John Bradshaw shows how we can learn to nurture that inner child, in essence offering ourselves the good parenting we needed and longed for. Through a step-by-step process of exploring the unfinished business of each developmental stage, we can break away from destructive family rules and roles and free ourselves to live responsibly in the present. Then, says Bradshaw, the healed inner child becomes a source of vitality, enabling us to find new joy and energy in living. Homecoming includes a wealth of unique case histories and interactive techniques, including questionnaires, letter-writing to the inner child, guided meditations, and affirmations. Pioneering when introduced, these classic therapies are now being validated by new discoveries in attachment research and neuroscience. No one has ever brought them to a popular audience more effectively and inspiringly than John Bradshaw. Bradshaw's Homecoming re-creates the transformative experiences of his workshops,... Leer más…

Karyl, Ph D Mcbride

Uploaded by [StormRG]The first book specifically for daughters suffering from the emotional abuse of selfish, self-involved mothers, Will I Ever Be Good Enough? provides the expert assistance you need in order to overcome this debilitating history and reclaim your life for yourself. Drawing on over two decades of experience as a therapist specializing in women's psychology and health, psychotherapist Dr. Karyl McBride helpsyou recognize the widespread effects of this maternal emotional abuse and guides you as you create an individualized program for self-protection, resolution, and complete recovery.An estimated 1.5 million American women have narcissistic personality disorder, which makes them so insecure and overbearing, insensitive and domineering that they can psychologically damage their daughters for life. Daughters of narcissistic mothers learn that maternal love is not unconditional, and that it is given only when they behave in accordance with their mothers' often unreasonable expectations and whims. As adults, these daughters consequently have difficulty overcoming their insecurities and feelings of inadequacy, disappointment, sadness, and emotional emptiness. They may also have a terrible fear of abandonment that leads them to form unhealthy love relationships, as well as a tendency to perfectionism and unrelenting self-criticism, or to self-sabotage and frustration.Herself the recovering daughter of a narcissistic mother, Dr. McBride includes her personal... Leer más…

Dr. Patricia Love, Jo Robinson

From Dr. Patricia Love, a ground-breaking work that identifies, explores and treats the harmful effects that emotionally and psychologically invasive parents have on their children, and provides a program for overcoming the chronic problems that can result. From Dr. Patricia Love, a ground-breaking work that identifies, explores and treats the harmful effects that emotionally and psychologically invasive parents have on their children, and provides a program for overcoming the chronic problems that can result. Leer más…

Jasmin Lee Cori

Was your mother too busy, too tired, or too checked-out to provide you with the nurturing you needed as a child? Men and women who were “undermothered” as children often struggle with intimate relationships, in part because of their unmet need for maternal care. __The Emotionally Absent Mother__ will help you understand what was missing from your childhood, how this relates to your mother’s own history, and how you can fill the “mother gap” by: * Examining the past with compassion for yourself and your mother * Finding the child inside of you and learning to mother yourself * Opening to the archetype of the Good Mother * Allowing friends and loved ones to provide support, guidance, and other elements of good mothering that you missed Through reflections, exercises, and clear explanations, psychotherapist Jasmin Lee Cori helps adult sons and daughters heal the wounds left by mothers who failed to provide the essential ingredients that every child needs. She traces perceived personal “defects” back to mothering __deficits__, relieving self-blame. And, by teaching today’s undermothered adults to cultivate the mothering they missed, she helps them secure a happier future—for themselves and their children. Leer más…

Miller, Alice; Jenkins, Andrew

An examination of childhood trauma and its surreptitious, debilitating effects by one of the world's leading psychoanalysts. Never before has world-renowned psychoanalyst Alice Miller examined so persuasively the long-range consequences of childhood abuse on the body. Using the experiences of her patients along with the biographical stories of literary giants such as Virginia Woolf, Franz Kafka, and Marcel Proust, Miller shows how a child's humiliation, impotence, and bottled rage will manifest itself as adult illness―be it cancer, stroke, or other debilitating diseases. Never one to shy away from controversy, Miller urges society as a whole to jettison its belief in the Fourth Commandment and not to extend forgiveness to parents whose tyrannical childrearing methods have resulted in unhappy, and often ruined, adult lives. In this empowering work, writes Rutgers professor Philip Greven, "readers will learn how to confront the overt and covert traumas of their own childhoods with the enlightened guidance of Alice Miller." Leer más…

Meg Meeker, M.d

**Meg Meeker, M.D., acclaimed author of __Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters,__ now turns to an equally powerful relationship in the family: the one between mother and son.** From the moment a mother holds her newborn son, his eyes tell her that she is his world. But often, as he grows up, the boy who needs her simultaneously pushes her away. Calling upon thirty years of experience as a pediatrician, Meg Meeker, M.D., a highly sought after national speaker, assistant professor of clinical medicine, and mother of four, shares the secrets that every mother needs to know in order to strengthen—or rebuild—her relationship with her son. Boys today face unique challenges and pressures, and the burden on mothers to guide their boys through them can feel overwhelming. This empowering book offers a road map to help mothers find the strength and confidence to raise extraordinary sons by providing encouragement, education, and practical advice about • the need for mothers to exercise courage and be bolder and more confident about advising and directing their boys • the crucial role mothers play in expressing love to sons in healthy ways so they learn to respect and appreciate women as they grow up • the importance of teaching sons about the values of hard work, community service, and a well-developed inner life • the natural traps mothers of boys often fall into—and how to avoid them • the need for a mother to heal her own wounds with the men in her life so she can raise her son... Leer más…

Danu Morrigan

Understanding and healing for daughters of narcissistic mothers. (It's for sons too\*) "You're not broken and in need of fixing. You're wounded and in need of healing". Do you find yourself emotionally bruised, upset and confused after being in contact with your mother? Do you end up doubting yourself - even feeling crazy - as she remembers incidents totally differently to how you remember them and denies other events even happened at all, until you begin to doubt your own perceptions? Do you somehow feel you're not a real person in her company? Does it seem that she gets angry or upset when good things happen to you, and gets happy and energised when bad things happen to you? But maybe that's your imagination, you tell yourself, because of course your own mother isn't going to be sad when you succeed and glad when you suffer, right? And so maybe you feel like a bad daughter for even doubting her. Around and around go your feelings and emotions and half-formed thoughts, till you think you must truly be crazy. If all this is true for you, you are far from alone. Millions of women all over the world have experienced the same crazy-making hall-of-mirrors. And this is why: their mother - like yours, possibly - has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Realising about NPD explains the whole crazy-making dynamic, and this realisation is so freeing and life-changing. It can be a tough realisation too, however, and this book aims to support you on the tough bits of that journey. For... Leer más…

Anderson, J L

Overview: “The Emotionally Absent Mother” is a practical guide to understanding and working out the pain of being emotionally abandoned as a child. Insightful explanations offer new perspectives on old problems. The exercises in the book can direct you through your emotional numbness or distress and into a brighter future. Leer más…

Jonice Webb, Phd. With Christine Musello, Psyd

__Running on Empty__ is the first self-help book about Emotional Neglect: an invisible force from your childhood which you can't see, but may be affecting you profoundly to this day. It is about what didn't happen in your childhood, what wasn't said, and what cannot be remembered.Do you sometimes feel as if you're just going through the motions in life? Are you good at looking and acting as if you're fine, but secretly feel lonely and disconnected? Perhaps you have a fine life and are good at your work, but somehow it's just not enough to make you happy.If so, you are not alone. The world is full of people who have an innate sense that something is wrong with them. Who feel they live on the outside looking in, but have no explanation for their feeling and no way to put it into words. Who blame themselves for not being happier.If you are one of these people, you may fear that you are not connected enough to your spouse, or that you don't feel pleasure or love as profoundly as others do. Perhaps when you do experience strong emotions, you have difficulty understanding or tolerating them. You may drink too much, or eat too much, or risk too much, in an attempt to feel something good.In over twenty years of practicing psychology, many people have arrived in Jonice Webb's office, driven by the threat of divorce or the onset of depression, or by loneliness, and said, "Something is missing in me".__Running on Empty__ will give you clear strategies for how to heal, and offers a... Leer más…

Susan Forward, Joan Torres

Is this the way love is supposed to feel?? Does the man you love assume the right to control how you live and behave?? Have you given up important activities or people to keep him happy?? Is he extremely jealous and possessive?? Does he switch from charm to anger without warning?? Does he belittle your opinions, your feelings, or your accomplishments?? Does he withdraw love, money, approval, or sex to punish you?? Does he blame you for everything that goes wrong in the relationship?? Do you find yourself "walking on eggs" and apologizing all the time? If the questions here reveal a familiar pattern, you may be in love with a misogynist? a man who loves you, yet causes you tremendous pain because he acts as if he hates you. In this superb self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward draws on case histories and the voices of men and women trapped in these negative relationships to help you understand your man?s destructive pattern and the part you play in it. She shows how to break the pattern, heal the hurt, regain your self-respect, and either rebuild your relationship or find the courage to love a truly loving man. BONUS: This edition contains an excerpt from Susan Forward's Toxic Parents.? Read more... Leer más…

Jasmine Lee Cori, Ms, Lpc

The groundbreaking guide to self-healing and getting the love you missed “Years ago, I was on vacation and read The Emotionally Absent Mother. That book was one of many that woke me up.... I began the process of reparenting and it's changed my life.”—Dr. Nicole LePera, New York Times–bestselling author of How to Do the Work Was your mother preoccupied, distant, or even demeaning? Have you struggled with relationships—or with your own self-worth? Often, the grown children of emotionally absent mothers can't quite put a finger on what's missing from their lives. The children of abusive mothers, by contrast, may recognize the abuse—but overlook its lasting, harmful effects. Psychotherapist Jasmin Lee Cori has helped thousands of men and women heal the hidden wounds left by every kind of undermothering. In this second edition of her pioneering book, with compassion for mother and child alike, she explains: Possible reasons your mother was distracted or hurtful—and what she was unable to give The lasting impact of childhood emotional neglect and abuse How to find the child inside you and fill the “mother gap” through reflections and exercises How to secure a happier future for yourself (and perhaps for your children). Leer más…

Karen C.l. Anderson, Katherine Woodward Thomas

The best news on the planet is that your mother doesn't have to change in order for you to be happy. In fact, author Karen C.L. Anderson will take it a step further and say, your mother doesn't have to change in order for you to be free, peaceful, contented, and joyful.Inspired by her own journey, Anderson's Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration shows women how to emotionally separate from their mothers without guilt and anxiety so they can finally create a life based on their own values, desires, needs, and preferences. Not to mention being able to like and respect themselves during the process. Through personal stories and experiences, practical tools that can used right away to feel better, and journal prompts, Anderson compassionately leads women who struggle in their relationships with their mothers through a process of self-awareness and understanding. Anderson's work with hundreds of women and her own personal work have resulted in profound growth and transformation. Anderson knows the results are nothing short of miraculous.This book is about Anderson discovering and accepting the whole of who she is (separate from her mother), and making her discoveries accessible to women struggling to redefine their challenging relationships with their mothers. Her writing is relatable, real, funny, and compassionate.What You'll Learn Inside This Book:* Why mothers and daughters tend to have difficult relationships. * How to heal... Leer más…

Beverly Enge, Kate Rudd

Shame is one of the most destructive of human emotions. If you suffered childhood physical or sexual abuse, you may experience such intense feelings of shame that it almost seems to define you as a person. In order to begin healing, it’s important for you to know that it wasn’t your fault. In this gentle guide, therapist and childhood abuse expert Beverly Engel presents a mindfulness and compassion-based therapeutic approach to help you overcome the debilitating shame that keeps you tied to the past. By following the step-by-step exercises in this book, you’ll gain a greater understanding of the root cause of your shame. And by cultivating compassion toward yourself, you will begin to heal and move past your painful experiences. Recent studies show that trauma survivors, particularly those with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) resulting from abuse, can greatly benefit from incorporating elements of self-compassion into their treatment. Furthermore, the practice of self-compassion has been shown to decrease PTSD symptoms, including, self-criticism, thought suppression, and rumination. This book is based on the author’s powerful and effective Compassion Cure program. With this book, you will develop the skills needed to finally put a stop the crippling self-blame that keeps you from moving on and being happy. You’ll learn to focus on your strengths, your courage, and your extraordinary ability to survive. Most of all, you’ll learn to replace shame with its counter... Leer más…

Susan Forward With Donna Frazier

A practical guide to better communication that will break the blackmail cycle for good, by one of the nation's leading therapists, Susan Forward. "Breathe a sigh of relief! Susan Forward helps you identify and correct an intensely destructive and confusing pattern of relating with those you love. I highly recommend this important book!"—Susan Jeffers, Ph.D., author of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway "If you really loved me..." "After all I've done for you..." "How can you be so selfish..." Do any of the above sound familiar? They're all examples of emotional blackmail, a powerful form of manipulation in which people close to us threaten to punish us for not doing what they want. Emotional blackmailers know how much we value our relationships with them. They know our vulnerabilities and our deepest secrets. They are our mothers, our partners, our bosses and coworkers, our friends and our lovers. And no matter how much they care about us, they use this intimate knowledge to give themselves the payoff they want: our compliance. Susan Forward knows what pushes our hot buttons. Just as John Gray illuminates the communications gap between the sexes in Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, and Harriet Lerner describes an intricate dynamic in The Dance of Anger, so Susan Forward presents the anatomy of a relationship damaged by manipulation, and gives readers an arsenal of tools to fight back. Leer más…

Susan Forward; Craig Faustus Buck

All parents fall short from time to time. But Susan Forward pulls no punches when it comes to those whose deficiencies cripple their children emotionally. Her brisk, unreserved guide to overcoming the stultifying agony of parental manipulation—from power trips to guilt trips and all other killers of self worth—will help deal with the pain of childhood and move beyond the frustrating relationship patterns learned at home.__Source: Amazon.com__ Leer más…